Someone Finally Saw What I Was Going Through

Marlyse

Shared with written consent · portrait illustrated

“Lola didn't look at me and see a helpless woman. She saw someone who needed help, protection and the opportunity to find her way forward.”

In her own words

I am a mother of two beautiful girls.

For a long time, I lived in a toxic and abusive marriage.

I had become so used to physical abuse

That I had started to believe it was normal.

I endured the pain, the bruises and the scars.

On the outside, I tried to appear confident.

I wore a mask, because I wanted to keep going for my children.

But inside, I was deeply unhappy, ashamed and afraid.

I was too embarrassed and frightened to ask for help.

When Lola heard what I was experiencing, she took my situation seriously.

She contacted local support services, including domestic abuse support and the police.

And handed my case to the professionals who could help me.

That intervention was incredibly important.

I was no longer facing everything alone.

With the support that followed, I was able to begin moving away from the abuse.

And rebuilding my life.

Today, I am thriving.

I am raising my two beautiful girls, and creating a healthier and happier life for us.

Lola did not look at me and see a helpless woman.

She saw someone who needed help, protection, and the opportunity to find her way forward.

I will always be grateful that she cared enough to act when I could not.

This is not Marlyse’s voice. Her words are read by a synthetic voice so she cannot be identified by anyone who knows her. The full account is written out below.

This account describes domestic abuse. If now is not the right time to read it, that is completely fine. Quick exit is at the top of the page.

I am a mother of two beautiful girls, and for a long time I lived in a toxic and abusive marriage.

I had become so used to physical abuse that I had started to believe it was normal. I endured the pain, the bruises and the scars, while trying to carry on with life as though everything was okay.

On the outside, I tried to appear confident. I wore a mask because I wanted to feel normal and keep going for my children. But inside, I was deeply unhappy, ashamed and afraid. I was too embarrassed and frightened to ask for the help I needed.

I was introduced to Lola through a mutual friend. When she heard what I was experiencing, she took my situation seriously. She recognised that I was in a vulnerable position and that I was not able to seek the necessary help for myself at that time.

Lola stepped in and contacted appropriate local support services, including domestic abuse support and the police. She helped bring my situation to the attention of people who could provide the specialist help I needed, and then handed my case over to the appropriate professionals.

That intervention was incredibly important.

I was no longer facing everything alone.

With the support that followed, I was able to begin moving away from the abuse and rebuilding my life.

Today, I am thriving. I am raising my two beautiful girls and creating a healthier and happier life for us.

When I look back, I am grateful that someone cared enough to recognise what was happening behind the mask I was wearing.

Lola didn't look at me and see a helpless woman. She saw someone who needed help, protection and the opportunity to find her way forward.

I will always be grateful that she cared enough to act when I couldn't.

If any part of this sounds like your life, you do not have to have it worked out before you speak to someone. Write to imisi@eliteceo.co.uk, or call Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline free on 0800 027 1234, any hour.