She Helped Me See That I Had Options

Morenike

Shared with written consent · portrait illustrated

“She didn't take control of my situation. She helped me realise that I had choices and gave me the confidence to take the first step myself.”

In her own words

I came to the UK from Nigeria after getting married.

Believing I was starting a new and happy chapter of my life.

Sadly, my marriage became abusive.

I felt trapped, unhappy, broken and afraid.

I did not know where to turn.

I felt that staying in the marriage was my only option.

When Lola reached out to me, she took the time to listen.

She did not judge me, or tell me what I had to do.

She helped me understand that what I was experiencing was serious.

At that point, I was not ready to let her contact anyone on my behalf.

But our conversation gave me the courage to reach out myself.

That was a turning point for me.

I was able to secure my right to remain in the UK.

And to leave my abusive marriage.

Today, I am settled, and thriving in my community.

I am free from the relationship that once made me feel trapped.

She did not take control of my situation.

She helped me realise that I had choices.

And gave me the confidence to take the first step myself.

Sometimes, you do not need someone to solve everything for you.

You need someone who will listen, and help you see your options.

For me, Lola was that person.

This is not Morenike’s voice. Her words are read by a synthetic voice so she cannot be identified by anyone who knows her. The full account is written out below.

This account describes domestic abuse. If now is not the right time to read it, that is completely fine. Quick exit is at the top of the page.

I came to the UK from Nigeria after getting married, believing I was starting a new and happy chapter of my life. Sadly, my marriage became abusive, and I found myself in a situation I never imagined I would experience.

I felt trapped, unhappy, broken and afraid. I did not know where to turn, and I felt that staying in the marriage was my only option.

I was introduced to Lola through a mutual friend. When Lola reached out to me, she took the time to listen to me and understand what I was experiencing. She did not judge me or tell me what I had to do. Instead, she gave me the space to speak, helped me understand that what I was experiencing was serious, and encouraged me to consider seeking appropriate support.

Lola also guided me towards organisations and agencies that could help me with my circumstances. At that point, I was not ready to give her consent to contact anyone on my behalf, but our conversation gave me the courage and confidence to reach out to those organisations myself.

That was a turning point for me.

Through the support I received from the appropriate agencies, I was able to secure my right to remain in the UK and get the support I needed to leave my abusive marriage.

Today, I am settled in the UK and thriving in my community. I am free from the relationship that once made me feel trapped, and I have been able to move forward with my life.

I am grateful to Lola because she didn't take control of my situation. She helped me realise that I had choices and gave me the confidence to take the first step myself.

At a time when I felt powerless, being listened to and understood made a real difference.

Sometimes, you don't need someone to solve everything for you. You need someone who will listen, help you see your options and give you the courage to take the next step.

For me, Lola was that person.

If any part of this sounds like your life, you do not have to have it worked out before you speak to someone. Write to imisi@eliteceo.co.uk, or call Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline free on 0800 027 1234, any hour.