I Found My Way Back to Myself

Funmi

Shared with written consent · portrait illustrated

“I was not finished. My life could begin again.”

In her own words

For years, I lived in an abusive marriage.

I was a mother of two, and I felt completely trapped and afraid.

My husband would threaten me with deportation.

And make me believe that I had no options,

Because my immigration status was connected to him.

I was scared to talk to anyone.

I thought people would judge me.

When Lola came into my life, I was broken.

But she listened. She did not judge me.

She made me feel seen and understood.

With my consent, Lola connected me with the right organisations and support.

I was able to access safe accommodation for myself and my children.

And eventually secure my own right to remain in the UK.

But Lola's support did not stop there.

She helped me rebuild my confidence, and my career.

She supported me with my CV, and helped me prepare for interviews.

She helped me develop the confidence I needed to return to work in technology,

As a Business Analyst.

I got a job.

Today, I am working, settled and independent.

I am no longer living in the fear that once consumed me.

Lola gave me the belief that I was not finished.

My life could begin again.

She helped me find my way back to myself.

This is not Funmi’s voice. Her words are read by a synthetic voice so she cannot be identified by anyone who knows her. The full account is written out below.

This account describes domestic abuse. If now is not the right time to read it, that is completely fine. Quick exit is at the top of the page.

For years, I lived in an abusive marriage. I was a mother of two, and I felt completely trapped and afraid. My husband would threaten me with deportation and make me believe that I had no options because my immigration status was connected to him.

I was scared to talk to anyone. I thought people would judge me, and I didn't believe anyone would really understand what I was going through.

When Lola came into my life, I was broken. I struggled to even explain what was happening to me. But she listened. She didn't judge me. She made me feel seen and understood, and somehow she helped me believe that my situation could change.

With my consent, Lola connected me with the right organisations and support. Through that support, I was able to access safe accommodation for myself and my children and eventually secure my own right to remain in the UK.

But Lola's support didn't stop there.

She encouraged me to believe in myself again and helped me rebuild my confidence and my career. She supported me with my CV, helped me prepare for interviews and helped me develop the skills and confidence I needed to return to work in technology as a Business Analyst.

I got a job.

Today, I have built a new life for myself and my children. I am working, settled and independent. I am no longer living in the fear and uncertainty that once consumed me.

Looking back, I realise that one of the most important things Lola gave me was the belief that I was not finished. My life could begin again.

I will always be grateful that she saw something in me when I couldn't see it in myself.

She helped me find my way back to myself.

If any part of this sounds like your life, you do not have to have it worked out before you speak to someone. Write to imisi@eliteceo.co.uk, or call Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline free on 0800 027 1234, any hour.